Today is the day for dads everywhere to embrace their full essence. Which means they should do nothing other than the things they want to do — and it’s your job to make that happen.
So we put together a list of all of the most dad-approved activities we could think of, so that you know how to identify a dad at rest and know not to disturb them.
1. Watch the U.S. Open from the couch.
2. Nap on the couch while watching the U.S. Open.
3. Nap generally.
4. Ignore requests until finally, without moving so much as a muscle, yelling: “whaaaat?!”
5. Spend a few hours researching cars he neither needs nor, truly, wants.
6. Listen to Jimmy Buffett on repeat.
7. Wear a Hawaiian shirt while listening to Jimmy Buffett on repeat.
8. Comment on a months-old Instagram with embarrassing emoji.
9. Give unsolicited life advice.
10. Fix things he is probably unqualified to fix.
11. Literally never move from the Dad Chair, that you thought to have shipped in time.
12. Wear Crocs.
13. Wear socks with Crocs.
14. Wear a tucked-in shirt (perhaps it’s Hawaiian) along with a cell phone holster.
15. Do all of the above while grilling.
16. Eat meat so rare you wonder whether there’s really any propane in the grill.
17. Watch someone else mow the lawn.
18. Give feedback on lawn-mowing tactics.
19. Reprogram the TV remote.
20. Exercise absolute channel authority.
21. Let the kids fight while muttering, “they’ll learn eventually.”
22. Ignore the kids while muttering, “go ask your mother.”
23. Complain about the neighbors.
24. Complain about the neighbors’ lawn.
25. Complain about gas prices.
26. Complain generally.
27. Skip shaving.
28. Idly suggest things like, “I think we should get a jacuzzi.”
29. Tell you to wash the car.
30. Nap, again.
How is your dad celebrating his day?
Share any pictures of dads at rest with #DadsOnCouches on Instagram.
